Inspiration For ALICIA: Leon’s Scar


 Like a bad habit, I rubbed my left forearm and the scar there. A scar I’d put there when hopelessness had swallowed me whole.

When I wrote this short story, I wanted to connect with the narrator, Leon.  So, I decided to give him a piece of my past.

I don’t like to touch it, or even look at it most days, but on my left arm there’s a scar I had put there when fear and hopelessness had swallowed me whole.

For Leon, it was when he was still in high school, but for me I was days (if not a couple of weeks) from turning nineteen.  In the story, Leon never says why he did it.  In this post, I won’t get into the events that led up to my suicide attempt.

Even now it is hard to talk about.

The scar we share.

The scar we share.

For Leon, it has been only a few years.   It’s been fifteen years for me.  And we’re both still fighting the darkness.  But, my darkness is further away and its ugliest depth have a harder time reaching me.  The good news is I’m a lot better than I used to be.

And even though I changed details, it was scary to write this bit about him.  During draft two I almost cut it.  I panicked someone would claim it was too unrealistic.  I worried people would judge me.  I got scared that people would not talk to me anymore once they knew how dark my dark got.

But, I realized it was all fear.  I decided to see how I felt when I went onto draft three.  It survived draft three and all other edits.

More fear came when I went to submit it.  I hesitated.  I considered deleting those bits yet again.  Would I be rejected because I spoke of suicide?  How would I feel if they rejected this story with this sensitive part of me?  Were my previous fears going to come true?  It took half an hour to hit send.

I cried when I got the contract for ALICIA.  The scar is just a small part of the story, but it is the biggest part of me in it.  I hope you’ll buy it, read it, and enjoy it.

Amazon (for Kindle)
Solstice Publishing website
For More Information Click Here!

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

Categories: Inspiration | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

Post navigation

2 thoughts on “Inspiration For ALICIA: Leon’s Scar

  1. Wow. That’s powerful stuff, Gloria. I’m glad you found the courage to put it into your story. I’m not sure I’m brave enough to talk about my own darkness yet–but you’re right, for some of us, the dark can get really dark. Thanks for being willing to share your story. I’m sure that there are readers who have been there, or are there, and they need to feel like they’re not alone. Your story will give them that.

    And congratulations on your new release. Hope all goes well.

    • Thank you, Denise. I don’t have a single regret writing it (or this post) for the reason you state. It could reach someone that needs to read/hear it.

      You might never find a need or want to write about your darkness, and that’s cool. What I think matters with darkness is not being swallowed by it and it looks like you are doing well with that. Keep being the strong and awesome woman you are. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: