Queenie Passed Away

140201_003Dear Queenie,

You know it was an accident, right?

When you got loose, I can only imagine how happy you were.  I never let you run on the floor.  And there you were, running on that floor.  Nearby was your fuzzy buddy, the husky, Juliet.  How you always wanted to be closer to her.  You used to bang into her with your ball nonstop.  And Juliet always wanted to be closer to you too and to play.  And finally…  You two didn’t know.

You know that how it happened, so suddenly and out of nowhere, that makes it even harder to believe, don’t you?

queenie2I’m not angry with anyone.  Not even myself.  Because, my breaking heart wants only one thing.  It wants you back.  It wants your forgiveness for failing to keep you safe.  It wants you back more than anything, though.  But, no matter how many times I begged, you couldn’t come back.

Did you know you were my favorite among the pets?

When I got sad, you were the pet I wanted to hold.  Your fur was unique to any other in the house.  You buried yourself against me.  You climbed in my sleeves and rubbed your warmth against my arms.  You didn’t run from my mouth as I brought it to your head to give you kisses.  You were so giving even if you were usually nonstop squirming and moving.  And you always came back to me.  I was your safe place, I know.  You were mine too.

Do you believe me when I say I miss you so much and it has only been a day?

SAM_0636You infected me with little habits.  I come down the stairs and look in your tank.  At night commercials come and I look at your tank.  I come home and I look at your tank.  I was always looking forward to seeing you.  You know there’s bread in the frig for you.  You know when I cut up vegetables for us or the guinea pigs, I always thought of you.  Just a snip on the side.  Just for you.  The pet so easy to spoil.  The pet I could make things for.  The pet I could buy things for.

Can I promise you a few things?

Q3I promise you, you will never, ever be forgotten.  In all honesty, I thought owning a hamster would end in tears like when I was a kid.  You were so good.  You were so special.  You were amazing.  You’re the reason Cupcake and Oreo came into our lives.  You were the best ambassador for rodent pets.  Also I promise to never “replace” you.  There just is no such thing.  It is impossible.  However, I promise that you are the start.  You will have a legacy.  You were always meant to have one.  After you, I wanted to always have have a hamster in the house.  I had plans for when you were old.  A bin cage.  A successor.  That doesn’t get to happen now.  But the legacy will be.  Just let my heart mend first.

QueenieSome final words…  We didn’t get enough time together.  You never got to play with your castle.  It was so hard letting you go and letting you be buried.  You were my Queen of Cute.  At times you were my best friend.  You were always very, very, very much loved.  And I’m not the only one that felt this way.  The rest of the family loves and misses you too.

Goodbye, Queenie.

Forever Your Human,

Categories: Random | Tags: , , | 14 Comments

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14 thoughts on “Queenie Passed Away

  1. I am so sorry. Poor Queenie will be missed.

  2. Aw, poor Queenie. I’m sorry. That really sucks. 😥

  3. I’m so sorry…

  4. I have to dry some tears, now. I know the loss of a fuzzy friend and companion, and it’s so very hard to bear, no matter what size they were. I’m proud of you for deciding to continue with hamsters, once you’ve grieved. I hope that, some day, you’ll be able to post pictures of Queenie’s Castle. I’d like to see it one day.

    • Thanks, Tammy.

      I posted this picture on Twitter on her “Bought You Day.”

      I don’t know what I’ll do with the castle. If it will be Queenie’s gift to the next hamster or if I’ll take it to the compost… I haven’t gotten much beyond the crying willynilly stage.

      • Wow, that’s one impressive castle! I’m sure Queenie would have really loved it. 🙂

        I think it should be her legacy to those tiny rodents who may follow her into your heart. Until the time that they have chewed up the last morsel, you’ll always be reminded of Queenie as they play Lords and Ladies. 🙂

        • As I stated, I had plans for a successor. Part of those plans involved a name. Majesty. I’m going to stick with it. Part of her legacy.

          There is one thing I should say. Queenie did chew on the castle a little bit. I showed it to her as I made it and when it was done. She got only seconds with it and didn’t manage damage. (Because I took her away.) She liked it. I was pretty sure it was going to be destroyed after one week. She was such the chewer. 🙂

          • I’m almost ashamed to say that I don’t remember much about any of my hamsters. It’s been almost twenty years, though, since I last had one – does that help explain the lapse in memory? And you have pictures, and stories written down – you’ll never forget Queenie. 🙂

  5. I’m so sorry to hear about Queenie. This is a wonderful, and extremely touching tribute. Sending you a virtual hug 🙂

    • Thanks for the hug, Mel. 🙂

      I’m doing lots of little things to honor her memory and process my feelings. I spent this afternoon making photo sized memory cards of her. Tomorrow I hope to edit all the cellphone footage I have of her into a tribute video. However, I’m till not ready to face her tank. That remains covered for now.

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