You know it was an accident, right?
When you got loose, I can only imagine how happy you were. I never let you run on the floor. And there you were, running on that floor. Nearby was your fuzzy buddy, the husky, Juliet. How you always wanted to be closer to her. You used to bang into her with your ball nonstop. And Juliet always wanted to be closer to you too and to play. And finally… You two didn’t know.
You know that how it happened, so suddenly and out of nowhere, that makes it even harder to believe, don’t you?
I’m not angry with anyone. Not even myself. Because, my breaking heart wants only one thing. It wants you back. It wants your forgiveness for failing to keep you safe. It wants you back more than anything, though. But, no matter how many times I begged, you couldn’t come back.
Did you know you were my favorite among the pets?
When I got sad, you were the pet I wanted to hold. Your fur was unique to any other in the house. You buried yourself against me. You climbed in my sleeves and rubbed your warmth against my arms. You didn’t run from my mouth as I brought it to your head to give you kisses. You were so giving even if you were usually nonstop squirming and moving. And you always came back to me. I was your safe place, I know. You were mine too.
Do you believe me when I say I miss you so much and it has only been a day?
You infected me with little habits. I come down the stairs and look in your tank. At night commercials come and I look at your tank. I come home and I look at your tank. I was always looking forward to seeing you. You know there’s bread in the frig for you. You know when I cut up vegetables for us or the guinea pigs, I always thought of you. Just a snip on the side. Just for you. The pet so easy to spoil. The pet I could make things for. The pet I could buy things for.
Can I promise you a few things?
I promise you, you will never, ever be forgotten. In all honesty, I thought owning a hamster would end in tears like when I was a kid. You were so good. You were so special. You were amazing. You’re the reason Cupcake and Oreo came into our lives. You were the best ambassador for rodent pets. Also I promise to never “replace” you. There just is no such thing. It is impossible. However, I promise that you are the start. You will have a legacy. You were always meant to have one. After you, I wanted to always have have a hamster in the house. I had plans for when you were old. A bin cage. A successor. That doesn’t get to happen now. But the legacy will be. Just let my heart mend first.
Some final words… We didn’t get enough time together. You never got to play with your castle. It was so hard letting you go and letting you be buried. You were my Queen of Cute. At times you were my best friend. You were always very, very, very much loved. And I’m not the only one that felt this way. The rest of the family loves and misses you too.
Forever Your Human,